1. Tell us about yourself.
Mehrnash, 30s, researcher, artist, musician, mother, adventurer and lover of cats.
2. When and how did you realise that polyamory/ENM was a thing and you could transition into this lifestyle?
Knew that I was non-monogamous since I was an adolescent, but I did not have an idea what I was. In high school around the age of 12 or 13 I knew that monogamy felt very unnatural to me and I have a lot of love to give. Even before that I needed a lot of autonomy, freedom and space to have different friends and “boyfriends.”
Polyamory began more decade ago after a brief stint of ENM, because casual wasn’t for me and needed and wanted deep connection and commitment with more than one person. I would not consider it a lifestyle, but a love-style as it is an orientation.
3. What kind of polyamory/ethical non-monogamy are you currently practicing?
I Practise Relationship Anarchy with a Garden Party/Kitchen Table Poly set-up.
4. Tell us about a time in the past when you treated someone / did something in a way that makes you feel bad now looking back. What happened, how did the involved parties react, how did the situation get sorted out?
During my ENM phase I did not really know about polyamory, because there wasn’t much research and information about it. I didn’t know commitment with more than one partner could be a thing, so forcing myself into an ENM dynamic was a strain on me and my then-partner. We re-directed into a friendship and are still family until this day.
5. Tell us how you switched to ENM.
It was a natural process. From single to ENM, and then to polyamory. Didn’t have to deal with any real transition, because I was meeting the right partners who wanted the same thing as me.
6. Tell us about one of your most significant positive ENM experiences.
Doing it for a decade, and still discovering new facets of myself and learning bits and pieces of my personality by transitioning and transforming relationships and finding shapes and forms I didn’t know could take place. Compersion has always come very natural to me, so finding out needing to be patient with people (mostly metamours) whom it did not come so easy to was quite a stepping stone.
7. How has polyamory changed you? How are you different today compared to when you switched to ENM? What did ENM give you, what did it take away from you?
Not much in a general sense. I have been really open about it. My relationships have always been with KTP values since I was young, and when I “came out” as polyamory not many were surprised. The only thing that changed for the people around me is that they can now use a word for it.
8. Share with us any of your boundaries that help you navigate in ENM.
Open communication and KTP values (not necessarily the practise of KTP) are a must. If there is none, I would not even consider be open for dating a person.
9. Do you have difficulties fitting into society in any way due to your ENM lifestyle? How is this choice of yours accepted by your wider family/friends circle?
Not having any issues (unless I am travelling abroad) to conservative places.
10. Is there anything in ENM lifestyle that you find difficult? Tell us about it.
Nope.
11. Describe your efforts and best practices in terms of STD prevention. What are your safety recommendations ENM-wise?
Open discussions about dating a new person, verify their situation and get STD results together.
12. Share your best practices that you follow at ENM and why they are important to you.
Personally, I value a lot of freedom, autonomy and open communication. So I flock to the people who have the same mindset and approach as me. Could not date a person who is practising DADT or extreme parallel poly in this case. I might be open for extreme parallel poly in the future.
13. What did we miss to ask you that is important? Place the question and answer it
Got nothing here, but it was fun answering these questions and good luck with all the research!
Note from People of poly: The interviews are published unedited in the original language in which they were conducted. The interviews are translated by a non-professional.
Leave a Reply